Road Trip

Today cousin and I decided to go to Kaitaia. We were going to leave in the morning but Papa needed the car. It was 1230 by the time we left.  We made good time and managed to get to Kaitaia around 2pm. We totally stopped in at McDonald's where I broke my fast with McDonald's.  Soo totally worth it.  

Stopped in to meet and see some of my cousins friends for an hour before we decided last minute that we'd head out to the beach. Hopped into this big old massive van then off to the beach we went.  I have no idea why we went to the beach.   As beautiful as it was, all we did was drive on the beach. People watch for all of 30 minutes before we left to head back to Whangape.

Smashed back fish and chips for dinner before.  Some random Maori's gave us some fish to take home only to find out when we got it that it was a head haha!  That went into the bin because Papa wouldn't want to eat that.  

All in all an awesome day and as much as my cousin is all up in my space it's been nice getting to know him and spending time together.

Boring AF Day

Today was a boring day! Like actually, do nothing and be bored kinda day.

Nan and I went out to run errands. She needed some stuff at the supermarket and then she wanted to get my cousin a drink bottle. Five million shops later and we managed to find a 8L crazy expensive one at Hunting and Fishing.

I'm still feeling a bit sad about the whole thing that happened last night but I'm taking the break for the next little while and see how it goes over the next couple days.

Nan and I also grabbed some pork, fruit and little nick nacks from the supermarket.

Like I said, a boring day! Lol. Here's hoping tomorrow is a better one. Oh, and we had boil up for dinner. It was so good.

Judge Judy

I'm far from perfect and I'm the first to admit that I've made bad choices in my life. I've done things I'm not proud of and I've hurt people who didn't deserve it.

What I am guilty of though is caring too much for people. I have never been one to judge someone based on the choices they're making or the things they choose to do in their life. I am however that sort of friend who will listen to you day in and day out as you moan about the same shit for the millionth time. I'll hurt when you're sad and having a rough time. If you hate someone we totally both hate them. When you're hurt and sad I hurt for you. I'll listen to you for hours on end, giving the same advice I've given to you already and watch you go through the same shit only to have the same outcome as the previous times before but I still won't judge you. I'm the supportive, always there for you friend. That's me!

Tonight my heart took a stab of hurt when someone I cared about and have been there for a million times over decided it was her place to judge me on the choices I'm making. She used past experiences to shine a light on the fact that the people I keep in my life or choose to see aren't "right" for me. I felt like I had to justify my life and or reasoning to her but at the same time I had this feeling of anger and hurt.

I let her know how I felt but I knew if we continued on with the conversation it wouldn't end well. Her reply was what I expected sooo I took a step back, didn't reply and left it. I'm sad and hurt but perhaps it was something that needed to happen for the good of our friendship.

There's a big difference between being honest and being judgmental. Give me your advice and opinion but do not judge me as a person.  Be there as my friend as I have been for you. Sad day. I just need a hug and a break away.

Tornado J

When we got back from Australia J decided she wanted to put her clothes away and managed to throw everything into whatever container it would fit it. I did offer to help but she wanted to do it on her own. We've since been back 3 weeks maybe and I'm only just getting onto her room and clothes.

I donated a lot of things that didn't fit and also put away a lot of her jackets. She doesn't need them because it's disgustingly muggy hot here yet she likes to tell me it's not. Once I'd gone through her stuff it was all in the hallway like a tornado had hit her room. Even Papa was all Woah, what tornado came through here.

Felt good getting it all done. I do need to go through her other draws though as she has a lot of stuff that she isn't using and hasn't used in the year we've been here so will try to do that later in the week.

Super productive day but happy J can get into her clothes easier and there aren't too many frumpy looking clothes that don't fit her. New year, new changes J all to go with that awesome haircut you're sporting.

Happy Birthday Poppa

Today it was Poppas birthday. J had gone with Arlene earlier in the morning as she's now watching her and picked up hours with J which will be good for both of them.

Around lunch time I made my way over for snacks, cake and to check out his scooter they were picking up earlier that morning.

They'd already started eating when I got there which was good because I really wanted to get in as long of a fast as I could.

Once we'd all eaten, caught up on the news and fun Poppa went outside to check out his scooter. The first thing he wanted to do was to make sure Sox (his dog) could fit in his little basket. Then when we went to take photos he's all, Wait, I need to take my hat off so people can see my new bald head haircut haha.

Such an awesome afternoon and it was fun to see Poppa driving around on his scooter. He's definitely going to have fun going down to the club on that.

Indecent Proposal

Today out of the blue I had a friend message with the most random indecent proposal. At the time my first thought was what the actual fuck? After I'd mulled it over in my head as well as messaging a gf to be all like WTF! I kinda felt "okay" about it. Not the offer, but the asking. Whether I take said friend up on this offer is a whole nother story. I first need to get over the shock of what was asked. I'm 90% sure I won't do it but us humans are all curious creatures and perhaps that curiosity will get the better of me.

After 6 weeks of not seeing each other I finally managed to go and see Cerise. It was totally a last minute visit as well.

We'd been messaging through the day and when we both shared our news of indecent proposals (must have been the day of it) I'm all I'm driving out.  It was so good to see the little girls. Lexis ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug. Rory girl was her usual shy self but then was all excited to show me everything she's been doing. I missed those girls.  It was good to catch up with Cerise and hear what each other had been up too.

We didn't have our usual snacks and wine which I'm okay with. Cerise had wine and food but my window was closed so I drank water. Feeling good and didn't feel like I was missing out. Won't lie, totally wanted a glass of wine but I was more proud that I didn't have any.

All in all a good day. Now to get some sleep as I need to take Adam to work for a 7am start. Zzz.

Guilt

I'm not sure what's going on with my sleep but I'm not sleeping at all and it's really getting to me. I'm waking every couple hours and even when I do sleep it's not deeply enough because come the next morning I'm exhausted. All I want to do is sleep but it's just not happening for me.

I also had plans to do nothing which didn't happen. Cousin needed a ride to work. I had to run a few errands for Nan and I also took J over to see her Poppa soo it was a busy than what I'd like to have had day.

Weigh in day today and I'm happy to report I'm down 1.4kgs which brings me 9.3kgs closer to my first goal weight so I'm super happy about that. I've been fasting a minimum of 20 hours which I'm finding okay. I don't get hungry and I don't feel like I'm over eating when it comes to opening my window. What I am finding though is that I probably need a shorter eating window. I'm going to stick with 20 hours for now and possibly look at changing it up in a few weeks.

Today I had every intention of getting out for a walk. I had planned to go this morning but I was tired so planned to go later in the evening. On top of the no sleep my body has been achy sore. Not specifically from the walking but I think a mix of everything that it's really getting to me. I said I'd go after dinner but M said I needed to take a break before I injured myself. I felt guilty for taking a break because I felt like I'd had a break when I went to hospital. I was wrong. M told me off and said that wasn't a break it was surgery. As guilty as I was feeling I took the break and didn't head out for my walk. It was sad not seeing green but I knew M was right. I needed the break.

Hoping to get out tomorrow. Whether or not that happens is always like I say.. a different story. Haha.

Day of Rest

I feel like I'm letting the stress of everyone being here get to me when really I shouldn't. It's nice having family here but I guess when you feel like they're all up in your space it makes you feel like you're claustrophobic in your own room.

Managed to sneak out for a walk by myself this morning. I needed it. It rained, I had loud music and I smashed out a good 3.3km walk. I'm doing the same loop pretty much and I'm getting faster which is good.

Food wasn't so bad. I closed my window half an hour later than I should have but I'll make up for it and fast a little longer tomorrow but have a shorter eating window.

Took cousin to run errands this morning because he starts work tomorrow and needed work crap. It was another day of stuff for everyone day.

I had plans to do laundry and veg in front of the TV but none of that happened. I also have to be up tomorrow at 630am to drop said cousin to work. I don't mind helping but sometimes the break would be awesome.

My body has been achy the last couple days I think I need to do more stretching before and after I go for my walks.

All in all a boring day! I did sneak in an ice cream anddd 2 chit chat biscuits today too. Not good but hey, ate them in my window so I'm totally okay with that.