Eleven years ago I married the person I was meant to be with forever and for those who have followed the blog will also know that five years ago my marriage ended. I never imagined I would be where I am today but like a friend and I both agree on... even though I have "nothing" to show for the last 5 years I'm a much better person for it. I've come a very long way in 5 years. I'm more confident. I stand up for myself. I'm more open with my feelings and I'm able to recognise (even when it's hard) that I deserve better. Sure there are a lot of things that I could still change and do differently or better and I'm slowly getting there it will just take some time.
In September of 2013 we were coming up on 2 years of separation. My ex husband had emailed to remind me of this and that he would be visiting NZ and wanted a divorce. The only request that was made from him when we divorced was that I changed my last name. For all of my adult life I had always been Smith and with it being such a common name I didn't see the point in changing it. I also didn't want to have the hassle of having to change everything because who really wants to have to change ALL of your legal documents back to your maiden name.
It's now been 3 years since we were officially and legally divorced. My ex husband has since remarried and I'm still here 11 years on using Smith. I don't know if it was time that I needed but these last few days and I think mostly in part to meeting Sister Soderberg that I've felt that I need to start fresh. I need to move on with my life. Try to be a better person and even though it won't happen overnight I know the only thing I can do everyday is to keep trying.
It's the last quarter of 2016 and 2017 is literally around the corner. Who knows, maybe starting the new year with a "new name" will make a huge difference in how my year will be.
Online changes first and the rest will follow...
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