Quote

Such a very real and very true quote. I have been through a lot in my 27 years. I have had so many people come in and out of my life. Not many of them stay but I pick myself back up and start again.

Its a hard thing to swallow when you finally realise that that person who use to be your best friend in high school isn't actually you're friend anymore.  Or the girl  you befriended who everyone else picked on till her boobs came in and her braces came off. Or the guy who promises he won't let go of your hand but did it anyway.

There are so many reasons why things dont work out and all you can do is push through it. Its hard, trust me I know this. I am grateful though I have support.  I wish life were easier sometimes but I know we weren't sent here for an easy life. We can wish for it though right?

Reminiscing

Talked about you for the first time in a little while today.  Still makes me a little sad. I miss your friendship. I guess more the friendship I thought we were building.

It's hard to look back those first couple of weeks where everything was about building foundations and going slow. I let you in. Opened my heart. Shared everything with you and to think our friendship got thrown out with the rest of the trash just like that... its hard to swallow.  I know I deserve friends who are so much better than you but I miss you. I really do.

I wish you'd have just left it. Let her be angry at you but you had to push the knife in deeper just to make extra sure I knew you had chosen her. I wish I could say I hate you but I don't.  I dislike you but I could never hate you. You helped me get past something I wouldn't have been able to do on my own and I'm grateful to you for that. As sad as I am and as much as I miss you and our friendship I'm also grateful that I got to see the real you. I deserve so much better. 

Crushed

After sending an email to a friend about how the kids have been trying my patience this week, what he replied back isn't nearly as bad as what I've been through this week.

It's hard sometimes when friends are going through a hard time and you're not sure what to say or how to be there for them.

How do I tell him that everything is going to be ok when according to him it isn't.

How do you get use to the idea that you think actually she's going to be ok and that she's progressing when she hasn't?

My heart hurts for him because I know how much he loves her and wants only the best. I know it will be a rough road for them but I know they can pull through it.

All of this reminds me of church and how I know He doesn't give us anything we can't handle and perhaps this is something my friend needs to go through. 

I will be the friend that I can be to him and all we can do is see how it goes. I just wish I could do more.