Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there
----
Today I embark on a new journey which in a way is a sad but also happy journey.
A new place to live, new flat mates, new surroundings, a new start on life and hopefully a better year for me.
What was meant to be a great exciting happy day started as a crappy heartbreaking one.
As most people know I'm in what some may call an open relationship and as this past year and a bit has gone on we've for sure had our ups and downs mostly ups than downs but its at times a complicated relationship :-/
Today on top of moving out...we've decided to take a break. With everything going on in our lives I guess we need to figure out if we have the time in our lives to be able to be the kind of boyfriend or girlfriend that each other deserves.
I spent the first few hours of my morning upset and unsure of what or how I felt. I guess I feel a mix of emotions. A part of me thinks the break will be good. Another part of me can't stand the thought of taking the break and it just makes me sad.
A friend told me today that right now it will seem like Martin is my everything and there are times when it does feel like that which is why I have an outside person (non sexual of course) who when I need to talk I can go to her. The down side of Martin being my everything is that he was already someone else's everything as well.
At the end of this week whatever happens I will look back and remember the good times. Maybe moving house and becoming independent means that it also means Martin and I move to just being friends. It's not what I want but if our relationship is stressing him out I'd rather we end it.
It's going to be a hard week and already it's been a hard day but I've moved in and now it's time to unpack everything and maybe get an early night.
Time will tell.....
Saturday 22 September 2012
Monday 10 September 2012
Well Done You
48 hours 1 hour 52 mins somehow you managed to fit in a 1 hour conversation with a stranger. Awesome!!
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